Here's an awesome article from Jim Burns of Homeward. How many of you have just thought that you could say something to your kids--and they will just forget. Guess what--they won't forget. They will hold you to your word--as they should. How will it make you look if you do not follow through. And as the Article says, when you do miss up--confess your error and ask for their forgiveness.
Check out the article below. Stay Strong.
"Let Your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’: Keeping Your Word with Your Kids"
by Jim Burns, Ph.D.
"You promised that you would come to my game! Where were you?"
"Mom, you said you would pick me up at 9:30 – and it’s 10:30! Why do I always have to be the last one to get picked up? You’re always late!"
"Honey I had a bad day at work! I’m sorry, I know I promised, but I don’t want your friend to come over to our house tonight. Just call her and tell her that she can’t come over because I’m sick."
"Dad, what do you mean I can’t get my driver’s license? You said I could get it if I passed my biology class and I passed it!"
Do any of these comments sound familiar? Too often, parents have resorted to not keeping their word with their kids. Parents may not intentionally try to hurt their kids, but when moms and dads don’t keep their word, they cause damage to relationships and trust – sometimes creating lifelong negative consequences – in kids’ lives. Someone has said, "Things are never quite the same somehow after you have to lie to a person." While I don’t agree with the "have to lie" part of the quote, I do agree that lying damages relationships – even in parent-child relationships.
Jesus commands his followers, "Simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37.) Let’s face facts – no parent is perfect. Still, as parents we are called to live our lives with integrity. Because we serve as our children’s role models for life and faith, we need to be very careful in how we live our lives before our kids.
The spirituality of your kids is very dependent on the examples they see you setting at home. Kids need your integrity! If you desire your children to have vibrant spiritual lives, then they need to see an authentic faith lived out in your life. No one expects perfection, but a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude is not likely to produce a vital Christian lifestyle in your teenager’s life either. Kids have a highly tuned "hypocrisy" detector and they are all too aware of the promises their parents have made and not kept. Your kids don’t need your perfection. They need your honesty – and if you fail, they need to see how you follow Christ despite your struggles and failures along the way – in order to display an authentic example of Christianity lived out in the real world.
So what can you do to work on making sure your ‘yes’ is ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ is ‘no’? Here are some tips:
1. Think before you promise. Ask yourself, "If I make this promise, can I keep my word?"
2. If you can’t keep your word, don’t promise. It’s much better to say, "I’m going to try my hardest to get to your game tomorrow, but I can’t promise you I’ll make it" – and not make it – than to say, "I’ll be there for sure!" and not show up.
3. Think before you act. When it comes to your behaviors around home, ask yourself, "If I say or do this, what example will that set for my child?"
4. Ask for your child’s forgiveness when you fail to keep your word. Don’t sweep your failures under the carpet. Face them head on. Apologize and ask for forgiveness.
5. Realign your priorities. If you find that you regularly can’t keep your word to your kids, it’s time to reassess and realign your priorities. Keeping your family healthy and your kids on track to grow into mature and responsible adults requires that you make decisions to be involved and connected in their lives. Your presence in your children’s lives makes an incredible difference! You may not make as much money if you leave work early every week to show up at your daughter’s soccer games, but it will be more than worth the effort in the long run!
www.HomeWord.
Check out the article below. Stay Strong.
"Let Your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’: Keeping Your Word with Your Kids"
by Jim Burns, Ph.D.
"You promised that you would come to my game! Where were you?"
"Mom, you said you would pick me up at 9:30 – and it’s 10:30! Why do I always have to be the last one to get picked up? You’re always late!"
"Honey I had a bad day at work! I’m sorry, I know I promised, but I don’t want your friend to come over to our house tonight. Just call her and tell her that she can’t come over because I’m sick."
"Dad, what do you mean I can’t get my driver’s license? You said I could get it if I passed my biology class and I passed it!"
Do any of these comments sound familiar? Too often, parents have resorted to not keeping their word with their kids. Parents may not intentionally try to hurt their kids, but when moms and dads don’t keep their word, they cause damage to relationships and trust – sometimes creating lifelong negative consequences – in kids’ lives. Someone has said, "Things are never quite the same somehow after you have to lie to a person." While I don’t agree with the "have to lie" part of the quote, I do agree that lying damages relationships – even in parent-child relationships.
Jesus commands his followers, "Simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37.) Let’s face facts – no parent is perfect. Still, as parents we are called to live our lives with integrity. Because we serve as our children’s role models for life and faith, we need to be very careful in how we live our lives before our kids.
The spirituality of your kids is very dependent on the examples they see you setting at home. Kids need your integrity! If you desire your children to have vibrant spiritual lives, then they need to see an authentic faith lived out in your life. No one expects perfection, but a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude is not likely to produce a vital Christian lifestyle in your teenager’s life either. Kids have a highly tuned "hypocrisy" detector and they are all too aware of the promises their parents have made and not kept. Your kids don’t need your perfection. They need your honesty – and if you fail, they need to see how you follow Christ despite your struggles and failures along the way – in order to display an authentic example of Christianity lived out in the real world.
So what can you do to work on making sure your ‘yes’ is ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ is ‘no’? Here are some tips:
1. Think before you promise. Ask yourself, "If I make this promise, can I keep my word?"
2. If you can’t keep your word, don’t promise. It’s much better to say, "I’m going to try my hardest to get to your game tomorrow, but I can’t promise you I’ll make it" – and not make it – than to say, "I’ll be there for sure!" and not show up.
3. Think before you act. When it comes to your behaviors around home, ask yourself, "If I say or do this, what example will that set for my child?"
4. Ask for your child’s forgiveness when you fail to keep your word. Don’t sweep your failures under the carpet. Face them head on. Apologize and ask for forgiveness.
5. Realign your priorities. If you find that you regularly can’t keep your word to your kids, it’s time to reassess and realign your priorities. Keeping your family healthy and your kids on track to grow into mature and responsible adults requires that you make decisions to be involved and connected in their lives. Your presence in your children’s lives makes an incredible difference! You may not make as much money if you leave work early every week to show up at your daughter’s soccer games, but it will be more than worth the effort in the long run!
www.HomeWord.
No comments:
Post a Comment